Do you turn to social media to avoid relationships with others?

-Do you spend so much time on social media that it affects other aspects of your life? A new study suggests a factor that may explain this behavior.

People who are anxious about their relationships with others and tend to avoid them are more likely to have problematic social media use, that is, use that negatively affects their performance at work or school. This style is known in attachment science as “fearful attachment.”

People who fear relationships with others may turn to social media to avoid interacting with them, according to the study's lead researcher, Dr. Chris Bjornsen, a psychology professor at Longwood University in Virginia. In contrast, people who feel secure in their relationships have the lowest levels of problematic social media use, followed by people who avoid connecting with others.

The study, published in the journal PLOS One on Wednesday, reached these results after analyzing data from 555 Americans between the ages of 18 and 79 years. Bjornsen explained that the study linked different attachment styles to levels of problematic social media use, but it did not prove that a specific style causes this problem.

Holding yourself accountable To determine if your social media use is negatively impacting your life, Björnsen suggests holding yourself accountable about whether you're achieving the level you aspire to at work or school. If the answer is no, consider whether your use of these platforms is affecting your performance.

Other signs, according to Bjornsen, include the inability to refrain from using social media for the period that the person specifies for himself, or feeling anxious, depressed, or tense and irritable when staying away from it. The strength of social relationships with friends and family also affects a person's relationship with social media.

“Most of my students today clearly admit that they don't know how to talk to each other in real life,” Bjornsen said. He added that parents should help consolidate young people's understanding of the nature of good relationships, which should be built primarily offline, because they are often less superficial.

The Basics of Relationships Attachment styles are formed early in life. If you didn't have people you could trust growing up, you may need to develop your social skills in adulthood.

Building and nurturing relationships is “a skill we learn and others model for us in our childhood. We’re not born with it,” said Kimberly Solo, a psychotherapist from Medfield, Massachusetts, who runs the “She Breaks Free” community on the Mighty platform to support women in relationships with controlling people, and who was not involved in the study. Solo advised thinking about behaviors that might push others away, such as waiting a few days before responding to text messages or limiting yourself to one-sentence answers.

But she also stressed the importance of setting specific goals, such as learning how to start a conversation. She added: "Many people like to talk about themselves, so if you don't know what to say, ask the other person three questions about themselves."

She added that joining groups to meet new people can seem overwhelming. Therefore, she recommends practicing an activity that you are already good at, such as attending a pottery class, to boost your self-confidence and meet people naturally.

If you're still having difficulty building healthy relationships, consider working with a licensed mental health professional. Stay away from social media If your use of social media is negatively affecting your life, Bjornsen advises thinking about quitting.

He said: “Many people I spoke to during my research tell me that deleting social media apps from their phones seems unthinkable at first, but they soon discover that they enjoy it. Staying away from the Internet allows time for other activities that give us true happiness, such as movement and physical activity, getting out into nature, helping others, and spending time face-to-face with family and friends.”

If you can't give up social media completely, Bjornsen advises cutting back on your use significantly, and then observing the effect on your psychological state. It is hoped that improving your direct relationships with others will reduce the time you spend on these platforms and your desire to use them.

This study indicates that the reasons for the problematic use of social media for many may lie in their lives outside the Internet, which is what should be focused on to address the problem.